Weakness

If I'm honest, this had been an incredibly hard year. I have cried more this year than I have in my whole life. I have lost and gained faith more times than I can count, and that was just this week alone. Instead of figuring out who I am or what I'm good at or even my goal in life, this year has showed me a lot of who I am not and with that has shown me how weak I actually am. 

My friends and I joke that we aren't superwoman. We can't stop the atomic bomb. But that doesn't mean we aren't wonderwoman. We're stronger than we think. 

I may have a lot of weakness but that means there is even more room for God to show up because where we are weak He is exceptionally strong. He gets to show up in power when we feel weak because we aren't trying to prove ourselves in those moments. We may be barely holding it together but we are obedient anyway. Our obedience allows His power to show up in some mighty ways. There is nothing that can stop us when God is for us. Poor finances, bad circumstances and big problems don't stand a chance against us when we submit our lives to Jesus and are obedient to His moving. 

That doesn't mean this won't be hard. It will be hard and at times even seemingly unbearable. But that is no reason to give up. We have dreams for a reason. God gives promises so He can fulfil them not so He can watch us squirm. He is faithful. 

When I was wondering if I should even dream a friend told me this verse: May God give you the power to accomplish all the good things your faith prompts you to do. (2 Thessalonians 1:11 NLT)

So what's next? What's that thing you've been avoiding because you're afraid you aren't cut out for anymore? What have you been afraid to consider possible but can't get out of your mind? What do you feel called to do? 

Maybe it's time we start looking at these things and going for them anyway. I know you're scared. I know it doesn't make sense. But what better time is there than now? What better time to go after the things of God's heart and of yours? 

To Be and Not To Be

In Deuteronomy 31, Moses encourages Israel as they are about to enter into the Promised Land. The last forty years were spent in preparation for this very moment. Now that moment has arrived. Israel stood near the boarder of the desert and their promise. They could see it in the distance. Before them stood Mount Nebo, and beyond that ran the Jordan River and their entrance into the Promised Land. 

Moses, knowing he will die shortly after this, gives a five hour long sermon to encourage and exhort the people he led for the past forty years. Toward the end of this he says, "So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic... For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you... (Now speaking to Joshua he says) Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you" (Deut 31:6,8 NLT). 

There are two things I want to point out here. 

1.  Know your stance. What is your role in this circumstance? What are you to be or do? What are you not to be? For Isarel, their stance was to be one of courage and not of fear or panic. Moses first pointed out their true stance before pointing out their current one. The truth about Israel was that they were brave. They had courage. Now was their chance to try it on and use it. 

2. Know God's role. Who does God want to be for you in this circumstance? As Israel prepared to enter into their land of promise God told them he went before them. He is the Way Maker, and He is present. He promises He will not leave His people nor will he forsake them. This means He is not going to let His people fall. He will not let them shatter. They will not be abandoned or marrooned in a foreign land (or in the desert for that matter). He will not dishearten them but tells them to be the courage people He sees them as not the fearful people they feel like. 

So what is your response? Who does God want to be for you right now and what is your role in all of this? 

God always tells me my stance is as daughter and my role usually isn't as involved as I thought I should be. For example, I often think my role is as the puppet master of my circumstances but God often reminds me my role is to rest or to worship. I may have some practical steps I need to take but I'm not the one who needs to make the impossible happen. 

Personal Update

Hello to my readers!

I want to thank you so much for visiting my blog. I wanted to give you an update on some exciting news. I have this amazing opportunity to attend King's College in London this fall. I was accepted into their one year biblical studies masters program.

In all honesty this wasn't something I thought I could do. I have some amazing friends who have patiently listened to me and supported me while I tried to figure out if I could go.

So why this degree? One of my dreams is to raise up Bible Study leaders, church planters and missionaries in the church. I want to equip people with the knowledge of the Word of God so they can confidently teach others about the Bible. I am currently part of a group that has a similar vision, and in the evenings we get to learn more about God together. This degree will better equip me and will grow my understanding of the Bible.

Here is a breakdown of expenses with a total of £28,376.

£16,250 tuition
£8,078 housing
£4,048 transportation and livng expenses
£28,376 total

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for supporting me and making this possible. Click here to donate.

Shipwrecked Hope

We all have been given promises, and we all have hopes and dreams. We long for that moment we will see them fulfilled and for that moment we will feel like we are finally doing what we were created to do. That is all well and good, but what do we do when our dreams are still in the works? There is hard work in dreams and a lot of that is holding onto hope. 

There are times when dreams appear to be shipwrecked. They are dashed on the rocks of disappointment (cliché, I know, but I like the imagery) and we do not know if we can ever rise from that. We are faced with a choice in those moments—we can let go of the last bit of hope we have and float out aimlessly into the stormy sea, or we can hold onto hope like a stranded sailor holds onto driftwood and slowly make our way to shore. The pathway to our dreams never looks like we imagine it would. It can look like island hopping until we reach the Promised Land or it can look like a switchback road through a mountain range.

I am finding life, and dreams for that matter, looks much more like a choose-your-adventure book than a straight path. To go to London proceed to page 50. To learn about family proceed to page 110. Recently, I have been looking back at the mental photobook of my adventures thus far. Each path includes snapshots of random adventures and stories I never thought I could be a part of. It has also taken a lot longer than I think it should. Alexander the Great conquered the known world by the time he was my age. What have I done?

Growing up I heard the stories of the great men and women in the Bible and in history. For some reason pastors and speakers thought it was encouraging to tell us about the people who accomplished great things by the time they were our age. I was told of the great battles Jonathan won when he was fifteen. I learned with slight horror and shock about Mary’s age when she became the mother of Jesus. How could I ever live up to these people? I used to think I peaked in my teens. I have greatness written on my heart yet the greatest thing I have done this far is, well, I do not have an answer for that. I have accomplishments I am proud of but what about great accomplishments? I have never been in a battle much less won one. I have not conquered the known world, though I am working on that. I am not a ninja, though I would count myself as one in training.

I have an epic dream and that means there is an epic story. Epic stories always start with ordinary men destined for greatness, mainly because they are the protagonist of the story. The author chose them to be great. As a writer I get to control the way the story moves and can slow down or speed up a story for the sake of character or plot development. For some reason I often forget God does the same thing. He is the great Author after all.

My roommate Emily often has incredibly profound encouragement for me in the moments I am on the verge of letting go of my driftwood hope. The other day I was grieved at my current place in life’s story and was angry at things that happened in the past and completely unsure of what the future had in store. In other words, I was long overdue for a meltdown. Her response was beautiful: “Courage in battle means not running away. It is planting your feet and standing your ground. Courage in pain means not making assumptions about your identity, who God is or what your future looks like. It means sticking your feet down and not going anywhere.”

Our identity does not change even though our circumstances can be a kaleidoscope of fun—ever rotating, constantly changing yet the same substance. Our identity remains the same but our function within that circumstance changes. It looks different from the previous season. In one season we learn what it is to be a son and in another we learn what it is to be a warrior and yet another what it is to rest. We are still sons and warriors when we rest and still warriors and resters as sons. We are just acting out of a different function depending on the season. As we grow we learn how to go deeper into that and learn new facets and new moves but we still act out of that core identity as a son.

My perspective changes as I realize it is about learning new ways of interacting with God and not about me surviving a circumstance in order to make it to the holy grail of dreams. With all that being said, I want to leave you with a few questions. What is God’s perspective on your circumstances/ dream? What is God teaching you about interacting with Him in this season? What is the reason behind your dream? Why are you holding on? Remember and keep pushing through.

Timed Perspective

God puts dreams in our hearts and we often assume they are for right now. Joseph is a great person to look at in regards to this. 

When he was seventeen he had a dream that he would be a ruler. Being the favorite son, he figured it was a dream for now and took matters in his own hands. Unfortunately, he did not have the character or the fortitude to sustain the dream. He told his brothers (who were already jealous that he took all their father's affection), and they tried to kill him but settled on selling him into slavery. 

I imagine Joseph had moments of deep despair as he realized he was a slave instead of a ruler and a prisoner instead of a prince. He must have thought, "Is this all it's supposed to be?" as his heart longed for more. Even when he oversaw the prison I believe that deep down Joseph knew he was created for more. 

Joseph grew in character and wisdom over the next years and decades. He learned what it was to serve and what it was to manage a household, then a prison and finally a nation. He learned what it was to push through his difficult circumstances. Thirteen years after becoming a slave he stood next to pharaoh as a trusted advisor. I can only imagine the moment It sunk in for Joseph that he was second in command over the nation of Egypt. 

Was this the best route for Joseph to take? I don't know. Did God intend for Joseph to go the route he did? I don't know. Either way, God got Joseph into the position He planned for him. 

Often I stress about the right decision. I have to make the right decision so I stay in God's will and get where He wants me to go. I want to choose the best path so I can avoid unnecessary detours. I am often told "it's not the destination but the journey" and to an extent I believe that is true. But don't forget there is a destination. Don't forget why you do what you do. Your dream may not look at all what you think it should be, but don't worry. God will get us where He wants us even if we are doing the opposite of what we thought we should be doing. We might feel like we're in a prison cell but that doesn't mean God won't get us to the king's court. 

Hope is a dangerous business. It creates vulnerability to disappointment. I am learning to ask for God's perspective in circumstances and to change my perspective. I am seated in heavenly places with Christ which means I have an entirely different view than the horizontal view on Earth. You might be serving Potiphar or the captain of the jail or maybe you feel you're sitting in the dry well in the desert wondering what is going to happen or if you'll ever make it out. 

The brilliant thing about our position in heaven is that we can see more clearly what is actually going on. When you stand nose to nose with a wall you can't see around it. It seems huge and looming and ominous. When we change our perspective then we can see the ladder down the way or a door or Jesus with TNT waiting to blow that sucker.  

Hold onto hope. Ask Jesus what he sees when he looks at your circumstances. 

Desert living

A few years ago I began a series on Moses but never finished writing it (you can read them here and here). The story resounded with my heart more than I expected and not wanting to deal with it, I avoided that part of the Bible until today.

 

The story of Moses is one of dreams and hope restored. Moses had a dream of social justice. His people were enslaved and he wanted to help them. He thought this was God's call on his life. He ended up killing a man in an attempt to defend his people. He quickly learned they did not want his help, and Pharaoh wanted to kill him for this act of violence. He was rejected by both people groups.

Moses sat in the desert by a well wondering what he was doing there. Had he totally missed what his call was? Did he even have purpose anymore? He was surrounded by sheep and sand nowhere near where he thought he should be. He thought he was to free God's people but instead was running for his life. I imagine he was feeling like he failed God. 

 

It is at this point seven girls come with their flocks to get water. The shepherds try to run them off but Moses stands up for them. Their father invites him in and makes him part of their family.

 

The significance of this part of the story is the father's name. He actually had two names: Jethro and Reuel. Both names are significant. Reuel means "friend of God", and Jethro means "his abundance". Jethro is only called Reuel twice in the Bible, this time and later in the book of Numbers. It is significant that he was called Reuel here beause of the meaning of his name: friend of God. Moses wanted nothing to do with God nor His people. In fact, when Mosrs met God at the burning bush forty years later, Moses again tried to hide from God. So God gave him the next best thing, his friend. 

 

Moses thought he was running from God but in fact was just being sent to God's friend. Moses got to spend forty years with God's friend and be part of a family he thought he could never have. 

There are times when we don't want to face God and He honors that. He let Moses camp out for forty years. It is important to note that Moses was never hidden from God. In fact, God goes after those who hide. Adam and Eve hid when they sinned and God went looking for them. Moses hid in the desert when He murdered a man. And God met him in that desert. Don't believe God won't come find you. He never loses sight of you. 

Moses thought his life was over. He was content living in the desert with a bunch of sheep even though he knew deep in his heart he was destined to lead a nation. This was only the first half of his life and only a fraction of his story. There was still so much more God had in store for Moses. He wanted to restore those dreams and hopes Moses did not dare to dream again. 

Do not lose heart if you are in the desert right now. God is not done with you. He has so much more for you. 

Water walking with Jesus

In Matthew 14 we read the story of Jesus feeding the 5,000 and the story of Peter walking on water. Jesus just found out his cousin was murdered and several of the disciples learned their previous mentor/leader was murdered. They wanted some alone time to grieve but the crowds found Jesus. Instead of disbanding the crowd early in the day he continued teaching and healing. The day wore on and evening came. Stomachs growled and attention spans waned. The disciples wanted to send the people away, but Jesus continued to care for the crowd. He provided the food and had the disciples feed the people. 

 

After a long day Jesus sent the disciples ahead of him while He dismissed the crowds. He then spent some time with His Father. The disciples, also tired from grief and a long day, began to sail across Lake Galilee. When they were far from the shore, a storm hit. These experienced fisherman fought the storm in an attempt to stay afloat and reach the shore. 

 

By now it's early morning and the disciples are beyond exhausted. Through the rain and the crashing waves they see a ghostlike figure making his way toward them. They freak out and Jesus tells them they don't need to worry because it's Him. Peter, either more rash than normal because of his circumstances or more calm than the others and seizing an opportunity for adventure, steps out onto the water toward his Saviour. 

 

By the time he ecstatically realizes he's walking on the water, he rationally realizes he's walking on water. 

 

But the story does not end here. There are three immediately's in this story. Immediately Jesus sent the disciples in the boat once they fed the people. Immediately Jesus told them not to be afraid. Immediately Jesus grabbed Peter when he started to sink. 

 

The point of this story is not that Jesus put his friends in a storm so He could see how they would react. I believe the point is that they were in a storm and Jesus was with them every step of the way. They were tired and grieving so He let them head out early. They were tired and afraid in a storm so He walked out to them. Peter realized he was doing something only the Son of God had done previously and started to sinkt, so Jesus grabbed him and helped him do it again. 

You may be surrounded by the miraculous but Jesus does not leave you with ministry stories to keep you afloat. He comes to you in the storm, walks with you on the water and climbs into the boat with you. 

Jesus tattoo

 

A small child shuffled down the sidewalk of a tree-lined boulevard. His head was down as if he were ashamed to look the world in the eye. He kicked the pebbles in his path with a carelessness that said life did not matter. Cars sped by without noticing the meloncoly scene a few feet from their path. A dog barked from a fenced yard as if to say "stay away!" 

Day after day he walked this path. Rain pounded the earth then heat blasted the ground making it too hot to walk on. He looked up at the trees, thankful for their covering. Soon the leaves fell and snow covered the world in its icy grip. 

Each day the boy stopped by this one tree that stood between his house and the path. He sympathized with the falling leaves and cursed the winds and the snow as the elements tried to destroy the beauty of this tree. 

Today he left the house like every other day. He locked the door, turned and walked down the steps but ran smack into his tree. Bewildered, he looked over where the tree always stood wondering how it moved into his path. 

He looked at the trunk to see if he in any way damaged his favorite tree and noticed an inscription etched into the trunk. King of kings and Lord of lords. 

He looked up and realized his tree was never a tree. In fact Jesus stood before him. Jesus stopped down and took his head in His hands. 

"I don't understand," the boy stammered. "Every day I pray and every day I see my prayers go unanswered. Where have you been?"

"I have been here all along," Jesus replied as He lifted the boy into His lap. "I shelter you from the storms and provide shade in the desert times. I block the icy winds of winter. Every day I walk beside you. I love hearing your voice when you talk to me. I love hearing your problems and your thoughts."

 

"Then why didn't I see you before now?"

 

"You were so busy focusing on the ground and your next step that you did not notice I was the one walking beside you. I stood between you and the road."

 

Puzzled, the young man looked down the road. No trees lined the boulevard as he always thought. 

"You are not as small as you think," Jesus said as He put the boy on his feet. He put His hands on his shoulders and looked him in the eyes. 

 

"Even before you knew me I equipped you with everything you need to live life. You are competent and capable. You are my son and you are made in my image. This means you are capable of loving because I am love. You are fully equipped to live in peace because I am the Prince of Peace. 

 

"I have my name tattooed on my leg so that when you run into me you know right away what you ran into. I am over everything and I want to take care of you. You can let me carry your burdens for you." 

 

The boy took off his backpack and handed it to Jesus. When he did, he realized he was standing as tall as Jesus. There was a lightness in his heart he forgot he could feel. The young man felt like he could do anything. 

 

 

 

On his robe and on his thigh he has a name written, King of kings and Lord of lords.

- Revelation 19:16

Groundbreaking Greetings

For those of you who do not know me well, it is important to know that I love studying the historical context of the Bible. I relish learning new facts about the ancient world in which the Bible was written. There is so much depth to these passages when you know the culture and context of the Bible.

Ancient letters followed a certain formula. The writer would state who they were followed by who the letter was written to and end with a greeting. In the Greek world, the salutation was grace (charis). In the Hebrew world, the word was peace (shalom).  Peter and Paul combined these two greetings in their letters. By doing so, they acknowledged Christianity was not strictly a Hebrew religion but had also spread to the Greeks (a.k.a. anyone who was not Jewish). They knew both Jews and Greeks would read their letters and did not want to alienate one culture by writing strictly to the Jews or to the Greeks. Many of their letters included calls to unity between the believers in different cultures.

The early Christians were the first group that spread throughout different cultures without trying to fundamentally change the cultures. Kings and emperors came through the ancient world and tried imposing their systems and beliefs on their conquered enemies. The Romans were no different. They came along and set their own leaders over the people. Their end goal was to Romanize the world. They built roads, standardized currency and enforced the Roman way of thinking as best they could. With this increased ability to travel, the cultures began to spread out. This lead to increased animosity between cultures. Cities became divided into cultural sections instead of simply by profession and class.  

This is the world into which Christianity first began. Now, this is all vastly simplified, and there were exceptions to every circumstance mentioned above. However, the point is that the early Christians were groundbreakers of their time. They did not have books on how to interact cross-culturally. They could not attend seminars and classes on intercultural awareness or communication. They simply relied upon Holy Spirit and trial and error.

God used the people the world saw as the most uneducated and rebellious people to change the world by focusing on people, not systems and power. (Unfortunately, this became grossly taken advantage of in the years and centuries to come.) The Bible is full of stories of God’s redemption. God continues to use people who believe they have nothing left to offer.

What is your story? Where do you need to see God’s grace and redemption? Does your dream seem impossible? Ask God how He sees your circumstance or your dream.

God is Faithful

Moses stood atop Mount Sinai with the stone tablets of the Law in his hands. He spent forty days transcribing God’s words. He brought these words to the people but saw they already turned to worship idols. Smashing these words on the ground Moses again made the trek up the mountain. God repeated these words for Moses and at the end of it, Moses made a request of God. He wanted to see God’s glory. God came and stood with Moses and declared His name as He passed by. One of the ways God described Himself as was faithful.

God cannot deny Himself. He cannot change His nature to be something He is not. He is faithful. He keeps His promises. Psalm 146:6 (NIV) says God “remains faithful forever.” The NLT translates it as “He keeps his promises forever.” A promise is not something one can earn nor can it be taken away. It is something someone else says they will do for you. They can be delayed if I am not cooperating with Holy Spirit in preparation for their fulfillment but they will not be taken away. If I did not earn the promises then it follows that I cannot work to keep them. God is not going to take His promises from you. God’s gifts and call are irrevocable (Ro 11:29).

If you want proof that God keeps His promises, you need look no further than yourself. We are a fulfillment of a promise. God promised Abraham that not only would he have children but that nations would come from him. This promise of children to Abraham was based on his righteousness, not based on the law (Ro 4:13). If it was based on his actions, then his actions could prevent the promise from coming true. We are children of this promise. And if you are Christ’s then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise (Gal 3:29 NIV). Because of one man’s faith nations are blessed with the knowledge of Christ.

We can see God’s fulfillment of promise in the books of the prophets as well. In Ezekiel God promised to give His people a new heart and place His Spirit in them. In Isaiah and Jeremiah God promised to never remove His Spirit from us. He promised to restore us and renew us. We are living in the fulfillment of these promises.

Q&A with God

I really like asking God questions because the answers are not what I would expect. If you want a fun devotional time with God here are some good questions to ask Him: 

- What does it look like to be a son or daughter in your kingdom?

- What does your goodness look like? 

- What does your love look like? 

- Are you proud of me? Why? 

- What do you love about me? 

- When you were creating the world, what were you thinking about? 

- Tell me a story. 

- What character traits are you growing in me? How do I partner with you in this? 

- Jesus and Holy Spirit, what are you praying for me? 

These are just a few questions I like to ask. What questions do you like to ask God? 

Adopted

Ephesians 2 says we were dead in sin. Dead. As in a doorknob. Not mostly dead. All dead. Paul says we once walked in the manner of the world following Satan. We were self-focused, self-consumed and self-motivated. We lived for self and worked for self. We were our own idols and our own worst enemies. When we chose the kingdom of darkness in the Garden of Eden, we threw out our batteries and exchanged them for batteries that did not work. We then tried to fix ourselves because we knew we were not functioning properly. We knew something vital was missing and took on a mindset of trying to fix ourselves and solve our problems even if that meant trampling on everyone else to do so.

In Ephesians 2 there is this beautiful phrase: But God.... God saw the state we were in. Instead of recharging those batteries, God threw out the batteries and in their place gave us a power source that never runs out. We got the upgrade, the new and improved. We got Holy Spirit living inside us. It is like your favorite childhood toy or blanket. We may patch them up trying to make them last longer, but they still look ratty and dirty. God, instead of patching us up, threw out the dead and put a new source of life in us.  Despite our state of deadness, God redeemed us. We were so favored by and deeply loved by God that He wanted to make us new. We do not work for our salvation. We are given freedom. Now we are learning how to let go of the brokenness and old ways of thinking so we can live in freedom as children of God.

We were children of wrath, sons of disobedience (Eph 2). Jesus came to the orphanage of the world and saw you. He looked you in the eyes and said, “I choose you. I want you.” The Law runs the orphanage. It is a works-based environment. Jesus came to release us from this system of works. He came that we could be adopted into His family as children of God. As a child, you do not earn your standing in the family. You simply are a son or daughter because you were born. That is all that was required. You did not have to fill out an application and go through an interview process to become a child. You simply are one because you were born.

God created us. We are His masterpiece, the pinnacle of His creation. That means He knows how to fix us when something is broken. He tears down the broken walls and crumbling foundation. He may ask us to help clear away the rubble and rebuild walls, but He is the one that does the actual work. It is like asking a child to help you build a bookshelf. They may pound in a few crooked nails, but they are not the real builders of that bookcase. We cannot fix ourselves. That is something only God can do.

When we were adopted into God’s family as children, we were given a place to belong. God seated us with Jesus in heaven so he could show us the vast riches of his grace and kindness. We were not only given a place to belong but we were also given purpose. God created good things for us to do (Eph 2:10). He created dreams and desires for us, not us for them. He created these things for us to walk in. This means we do not just dream about them but we can actually step into them and do them.

God is for you

In Romans 8 Paul explains we are set free from sin and death and brought into the family of God. He goes on to explain we are adopted as sons into God’s family and given an inheritance. He concludes the chapter with an awe-inspiring statement about God’s love:

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:31-39)

Paul looked at everything God did for us and concluded nothing could stand between him and God. God gave everything for him. He is the one who stands as our judge and Jesus is the one who took our punishment so condemnation has no longer has a place in our lives. Jesus and Holy Spirit both pray for us and come before Father on our behalf. We are also more than conquerors through Jesus. Everything is under His feet. We are in Him and He is in us so by extension we have conquered everything as well. This means nothing, absolutely nothing, can separate us from God’s love. Condemnation no longer has a place. Things in the physical and spiritual realm no longer rule over us.

This is available to everyone. God longs to adopt you into His family. A few chapters later Paul states, “For the Scripture says, ‘Everyone who believes in [Jesus] will not be put to shame.’ For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved” (Ro 10:11-13).

God has such good things in store for you. His heart is completely turned toward you. He wants to pour out blessing over blessing on you. We cannot earn holiness by what we do for Him. We cannot earn righteousness by the number of people we help. We cannot earn a relationship with God, but we can accept one with Him. He chose us as His own. He adopts us as sons. He gave us a big brother Jesus we can model ourselves after and Holy Spirit to live in us and teach us how to do so. Father God did not stop there either. He gave us purpose. He gave us a kingdom to rule over. “It is the Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom” (Lk 12:32). It is His good pleasure to do so.

God wants you to know His deep love for you. He is not trying to buy our love with all these blessings. He is a good gift-giver and cannot wait to give you these things. He has dreams abundantly for you. He has assignments for you that will challenge you and bring adventure and refinement. He is with us every step of the way. Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness, so when we do not know what to do (and even when we think we know), we only need to ask His help because He is right there with us.

Don't Forget about Holy Spirit!

Jesus imitated the Father. He did what He saw His Father doing and said what His Father said. He represented the Father and did the Father’s work. We now represent the Son for the Son lives in us just as the Father lived in Jesus.  We do this by the power of Holy Spirit. If you are a Christian, Holy Spirit lives inside you. How often do we think about that? God lives inside me. The same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead dwells in me (Ro 8:11). Think about that for a moment. We were dead in sin but made alive through Jesus. The only way we can live as a child of God is because of Holy Spirit. We are in the family of God by the power of Holy Spirit. He is the seal on our hearts declaring we are sons of the Father. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you slaves again to fear but you received the Spirit of Sonship (Ro 8:15 NIV). Holy Spirit is a deposit of what is to come, a taste of heaven and our inheritance (2 Co 1:22).

The Experiential Love of the Father

How well do you know the love of the Father? I've been wondering that myself lately. As I've pondered this question I found myself in the book of Ephesians. I want to give you a little background to the city of Ephesus before I talk more on the Father's love. 

Ephesus was one of the major cities for commerce and travel in the ancient world. It was situated on the major roads and was a major port city as well. This city loved their entertainment and religious experiences. The Temple of Artemis stood as an epicenter for city life. It was a bank, a vault for special documents such as wills and a center of worship. People came to be healed, to worship and to sacrifice to Artemis. Male and female prostitutes were abundantly provided for the worshipers' pleasure. Statues and temples to other deities such as Nike and Aphrodite filled the streets. Merchants sold everything from exotic cloth and perfume to the meat of the animals sacrificed at the temples. Nearby stood the giant amphitheater used for everything from town meetings to plays and gladiatorial games. This was a people that loved an experience.

This background information sheds light on Ephesians 3:14-19. (I don't know about you but sometimes I have to reread a sentence several times before I can comprehend everything Paul tries to say. This is a really deep section and in typical fashion Paul said all this in one sentence.)

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith-that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

I want to focus on the phrase "to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge", particularly the words "know" and "knowledge." In Greek they are two related words but have slightly different meanings. The word we translate as "to know" means "to know something absolutely, to feel deeply and experience intimately." This word is also used as a Jewish idiom for sexual intercourse. The word "knowledge" means to understand something intellectually. 

Paul wanted the Ephesians "to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge." In other words, he wanted them to know by experience the love of Christ that went beyond an intellectual understanding. He wanted them to live the experience and to wear the evidence of that like an expensive perfume. This is the difference between head knowledge and heart knowledge. 

The rest of this section tells us how this happens. Holy Spirit strengthens us with power so Christ can live in us through faith. He makes it possible for faith. Because Jesus lives in us we are rooted and grounded in love. This is the image of a tree. The deeper the roots, the stronger the tree. This means those lies and other bad roots and weeds need to be removed for the health of the tree. The more Holy Spirit strengthens us the more we can experience deeply and intimately the love of the Father that we cannot know on an intellectual level. What an amazing God and Father we have that He wants us to know beyond an intellectual level His love for us!

By converting to Christianity the Ephesians gave up a lot of what their city was known for. Their lifestyle had to change. Paul wanted the believers to know that even though they gave up a lot they gained so much more. Christian life is not boring. We get to experience God's love for us. To truly know something you need to have experienced it. God wants us to be experientially filled with God's love. He wants us to know it inside and out, to be so saturated in it that we, like a sponge, would ooze God's love when squeezed.  

A few questions I've been thinking about lately: What does God's love look like? What does it feel like? Is something standing in the way of you receiving more of His love? Where do you need to experience more of His love? 

Holiness Points

I mentioned yesterday that I came into my weekend with God with an agenda. One of the things I wanted to talk about with Him was my bad pattern of trying to rack up holiness points so I had something to point to in regards to my value and worth. I told God I did not want to be stuck in this anymore and asked what I needed to do to change this. 

He smiled and did that half-laugh thing. “I get to do things for you too. You aren’t the one who gets to change this. You do not need another thing you can point to and say ‘Look what I did. That deserves at least six holy points, right?’” This caught me off guard. I was not expecting that. I was expecting a five step action plan so I could resolve this. 

He reminded me of a couple verses in response to this: Zephaniah 3:15—"The LORD has taken away the judgments against you..." and Isaiah 40:1 (my paraphrase)— "Comfort, comfort my daughter. You are done paying for your sins. Your sin is forgiven."

Hillsong has this great line in their song Anchor—"you gave everything to gain the one you love". Woah. I had the song on repeat for a while but never paid that much attention to what I was singing. I am the one He loves. Jesus thought I was worth leaving heaven for. I was worth his living thirty-three years on Earth. I was worth it to endure betrayal and torture and murder. He wanted to take my place. He saw everything that would happen and still thought I was worth the exchange. I was worth ransoming. He came to trade places with me, not so I could be God, but so I could be with the Father.

So often I forget who the Father is. I come to Him with my list of sins and ask for a payment plan when Jesus already paid the bill. He's a Father not a bookie. I get to live in light of what's already been done for me. I can accept His love instead of trying to buy His love. Every sin was taken care of on the cross. Jesus paid the price for every single person's eternity. He could truly say "It is finished." That means nothing I do can trump the massive obedience of Christ. No sin out-weighs Jesus' redemption. I can stop trying to pay for it myself.

Action plans in the snow

This weekend I got to spend a lot of intentional time just me and God. I came into it with an agenda. I told God if we could do this, that would be great. Anything else you want to throw in is good too. He humored me for part of the weekend but surprised me with a lot more than I expected. 

I asked God how to steward well the different dreams He’s given me and it basically came down to “Just keep your eyes on me. You’re trying to tailor your encounters with me. Just be with me." Oof. 

Not knowing what else to do in that moment I decided to go for a walk. 

It was beautiful. It was lightly snowing and no one was around. I saw a few fallen trees suspended about ten feet in the air and I wanted to climb them. I went through all the reasons why I shouldn't but when I got closer I saw boot prints leaving the path. I was sold. I felt ridiculous trying to hop through the deep snow but because there were already big boot prints I made it to the tree. 

Now came the fun part. I knocked off the twelve inches of snow on the fallen tree, somehow climbed one of the supporting trees and discovered I could still mount a balance beam like I used to. I made it halfway across the tree, held my breath (no idea why) and jumped. 

Now I had no idea how deep the snow was or what was under it but it was so much fun throwing out the rules of how I thought I should act in this place of quiet and solitude. It is a lot of fun trying to run through the snow and face planting. 

So what is the point of this story? Lately God had become a work buddy, someone to dream and vision cast with. I had action plans and To Do lists post-it noted throughout my journal. I knew how to relate to Him as boss but not so much as daughter. I realized I liked keeping God in a box because He is not scary or someone to be afraid of when I can understand Him. It is scary to let go of my sense of control. 

All weekend I kept seeing these pictures of Jesus holding me. I did not know what to do with that. I had a checklist and Jesus had his arms wide open with that look on His face that says "Come on, you know you want to," daring me to jump on Him. Sometimes we just need to give in. Sometimes Jesus wants to snuggle with us and play in the snow instead of coming up with a plan. There is no such thing as wasted time when you're with Him. 

Throw Open Doors

Over the last few months several people have given me permission to go after the dreams in my heart. These people are not in the same circles so the fact that they said the same thing caught my attention even more. 

I was not sure what I should be doing over the next several months and years and was talking with my mentor about this. I wanted to follow God’s direction and did not want to mess it up. She told me to throw open a lot of doors and wait for God to close them.  See what God does. He'll either keep opening them, close some or tell me to wait on others. If they are all open, He may ask you to choose. What do you want to do?

One person asked me what I wanted to do vocationally. He told me to make a list of what I wanted in a job (and was reasonable in a job) then advised me not to settle for the next thing that came along. Hold out for something you will actually enjoy and can make a difference in. 

Another person pointed out 2 Thessalonians 1:11 (NLT) —"May he give you the power to accomplish all the good things your faith prompts you to do" (emphasis mine). What are those things you want to do? God does not always tell us what the next stop on the road trip is. I think He wants us to ask and give our opinion on what we want to do as well.   Do you trust God will back you on those dreams? If so, try it. We need to be wise in our decisions but do not use that as an excuse for fear. Bring along wise mentors and friends who will help you and pray with you in this.

All of this culminated in an incredibly freeing experience. It was like I was given permission to chase after those dreams. They could become reality. They are not meant to stay dreams. 

So I am giving you the same advise. 

Make a list of your gifts (spiritual and natural). What are you good at?Make another list of the things you want to do.What are the desires of your heart?  What do you want to do?  Then come up with a plan to do them. As you do this, you will begin to see where you need to grow and where you are already pursuing these areas. It is helpful to find people who are doing this and ask their advice. 

For example, my list of strengths: 

- Writing (or so I'd like to think).

- Teaching.

- Intercessory prayer.

My list of goals: 

- Have books published.

- Teach the Bible in its original context.

- See Europe transformed. Pick up where the Reformation failed.

What I'm doing to grow in these areas: 

- Blogging and writing chapters for my books.

- Teaching the Bible in my discipleship group.

- Looking into further schooling to get further training.

- Part of a prayer team where the leaders help train us up in these things.

- Made a list of questions for church planters about Europe and movements. Now I need to contact church planters to ask these questions. 

Jon Acuff is doing a 30 day challenge with goals (if you aren't following him on Facebook yet, you should. He's hilarious and his blogs are super helpful). Make a goal and then go after it. He suggests cutting your goal in half and adding twice the amount of time you want to accomplish it in. That is super helpful and incredibly challenging because I should be Superwoman, right? I should be able to accomplish great things in small amounts of time. No. I am not invincible. I remember talking about this with my Italy family on a bridge in Venice. The conclusion we came to is that I may not be Superwoman, but I am Wonderwoman. I am stronger than I think. I am capable to chase and achieve dreams because I have the Spirit of God in me who teaches me and directs me.

I'd love to hear your thoughts and dreams are as well. 

Wait for the Lord

It is hard to wait for things as I am sure you well know. I cannot tell you how many times I burned my mouth because I did not wait for something delicious to cool. I know what will happen yet  I still bite into that hot, molten-chocolate brownie. There is something to be said for waiting. With brownies, it prevents burns. With God, waiting prevents burn out and misstep. Waiting and rest is a time of renewal and of strengthening and of realignment. 

God wants us to slow down and rest with Him. Isaiah 30 is a great example of this. Israel did not want to hear what God had to say so their 'unhearing' became like a hole in a dam. At any moment the dam would break and the pent up river would destroy the land. However, God promised to restore His people even then. "In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength" (Isa 30:15). Even then, Israel did not want to listen. They tried to rely on their own strength. Instead of asking God to fix the dam they chose to run from its consequences. 

"Therefore, the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore, he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for Him... He will surly be gracious to you at the sound of your cry. As soon as he hears it, he answers you. And though the LORD give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher. And your ears shall hear a word behind you saying, 'This is the way, walk in it' when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left" (Isa 30:18, 19-22). 

Slow down and take time to rest with God. He renews our strength as we wait on Him and rest with Him (Isa 40:31). He does not shame us for asking direction and insight but loves talking with us (Isa 49:23). He loves the process. When we are still before the LORD and wait patiently for him, we can better see the desires of our heart (Ps 37). Rest with Him. Know His heartbeat. We do not need to try to run ahead of God's plan. You are not behind. He is right there with you. I do not care if you are eight or eighty, you are not washed up. God opens the way, and He can restore back the years you thought you lost.

Peace and Joy

Yesterday I talked about the words God speaks over us. Today I want to talk about the results. In the first post I mentioned Isaiah 55:10-11 says God's words will accomplish all He intends. Directly after this He tells the result of His words- joy and peace.

“For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress; instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle; and it shall make a name for the LORD, an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.” Isaiah 55:12-13

In the Bible the thorn is a symbol of sin. Back in Genesis 3 Adam and Eve are living in perfect relationship with God, but then the two sin. God curses the ground and allows thorns to come into His perfect creation. God never intended to keep thorns in His creation though. He promised redemption and continued to remind His people He was bringing redemption.

God gives a picture to illustrate this. Instead of briars, there will be myrtle trees (flowering trees). 

Instead of thorns there will be cypress trees. Cypress trees are interesting because they easily adapt to the rise and fall of water levels. They can grow in up to four feet of water or on dry land. The roots spread out over forty feet and are predominantly in the top three feet of soil, though in times of drought they dig deep to find water. Unlike other trees, they do not rot in water and are more resistant to other forms of tree rot.

So what is God saying here? God is saying He will redeem the land that was taken over by briars and thorns (aka sin). He will redeem you. We can ask God for forgiveness for our sins and be forgiven. We can forgive others who have sinned against us. It is not worth holding onto the bitterness and hurt. I like how Eugene Peterson summarizes Matthew 11:28-30—

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

God's Words for us

Yesterday I talked about God's words for us. Today I want to talk about what those words are. These are just a few of the things God speaks over us. Take time to go through them. Look at the verses and their context. Let the words sink in. 

You are my precious child (Isa 43:3-5). 

You are always on my mind. "How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me" (Psalm 139:17 - 139:18 NLT)

I am jealous for you. I want all of you. I don't want to share you with anything else (Ex 34:14, 1 Co 10:14-22). 

I want you. I have chosen you and not rejected you (Isa 41:9-10). 

You have a place on this earth (Isa 45:18). 

You have purpose and the ability to fulfill it (1 Co 1:4-9, 2 Pe 1:3-4). "The gifts and calling of God are irrevocable" (Ro 11:29). 

Nothing can separate you from my love (Ro 8:31-39). *Sin can affect our fellowship with God but as a true believer, sin cannot affect our standing with God. Once a child, always a child. God will always forgive us our sin when we ask (1 Jn 1:9; Isa 43:24-25, 57:18; Jer 33:8; Lk 11:4). 

You are my witnesses (Isa 43:10). A witness is someone who saw and experienced something. This means that as witnesses of God we get to experience and see God's goodness, His faithfulness, His love and all that He is. 

Ask God how He sees you. What does He love about you? Is He proud of you? It is okay to ask Him why too. Write down what He says. 

Tomorrow we'll talk about the effect of God's words. 

Rain and Snow

I do not know why but whenever water is involved, I love to be in it. I love walking in the light rains and love dancing in the torrential downpours. I like walking through the snow as it silences the world and covers it in blanket of white. Time slows down in those moments. One of my favorite verses is Isaiah 55:10-11. I could probably say that about most of Isaiah, but this one is particularly special to me.

 

“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so small my word be that go out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.” (Isaiah 55:10-11)

 

Rain and snow fall from the sky (I know, pretty obvious). The only time I have seen snow go back up toward the sky was when I stood over the grates near the subway stations in Toronto. We would throw snow down there because it kept blowing back up. But it never stayed up for long. It always came back down to the earth. Its job was to water the earth. The earth needs to soak in that moisture.

 

In the same way we need to soak in God’s words. The rain and snow were made to water the earth just as God’s words were made to water our hearts. I had trouble with this for a while. What happens when I do not hear God’s voice? I know that God always speaks. He is not silent (Isa 45:19, 48:16). He does not hide His words from us but wants us to know His heart. So what happens when I do not hear those words? God still speaks them over me. Even though I cannot hear His voice all the time, my spirit still soaks in His words. I may not see the evidence of it right away but that does not mean God is not speaking to me.

 

The more I spend time listening and quieting my heart and mind, the more time I allow my spirit to connect with God. Even when I feel I accomplish nothing during my time spent sitting with God, it is not unfruitful. God still speaks to my heart. It may just take a while for those words to work their way from the depths of my heart.

More on this tomorrow. 

 

The Art of the Face Plant

God has been reworking my perceptions lately. It is very challenging, to say the least. My idea of making a mistake and of calling sin sin is changing. It is hard to admit you are weaker than you want to believe. It is hard to see your Father's expectations of you are not nearly as hard to reach as your expectations of yourself. When it is not okay to make a mistake because that means you are a failure, or worse, there is no rest. It is tiring to try to work for approval, love and acceptance.

In dealing with the lie that I should be stronger (a lie which leaves no room for weakness or mistakes), I saw myself standing on my Daddy’s feet learning to walk. He goes slowly, engaging all the muscles needed to walk and eventually dance. He’s bent over, beaming, holding my hands to steady me as we go. Instead of walking across the room Himself, He takes much smaller steps, bringing me with Him.

Today I asked Him, “What do you expect of me right now?”

I then see myself standing, looking at my Father. I think about taking a step toward Him but instead face plant.

My first thought is Ow...

But then I am afraid to look up. He’s going to look at me with sadness and disappointment. I only thought about taking a step. I never actually did it.

I fearfully steal a glance away from the floorboards and as expected see tears in my Father’s eyes, except instead of sorrow I see joy and pride.

“Why?” I ask. “Why are you proud of me? I fell.”

He picks me up and holds me close. “I am proud of you because you are my daughter and you tried. That is all that matters. It is not about falling; it is about trying, even thinking about trying. I will always pick you up and hold you close. It is not about being stronger than your circumstance. You can be strong because your Daddy is strong and you are on my feet. But it’s not about that either. First and foremost you are my daughter. You were born a daughter. I only expect you to be a daughter.”